It's a new year, and so begins the weight-loss frenzy.
'She's trapped in a body of lard!' squeals camp fat-loss expert Steve Miller on the first battle in his 'one-man mission to stamp out obesity'. The 'she' in question is Tania Cuff, a 33stone (209kg) crisp-eating machine who actually likes being fat but thinks (rightly) that she may have got a bit carried away.  Hubbie Mike (24stone) and mother Anne (22stone) are also subject to Miller's wide-eyed prodding and poking.

Madder than a box of badgers presenter + car crash wobbly family = telly more addictive than those purple Quality Streets.